April 29th
For some reason I have developed into this person who is afraid of almost anything. Im really afraid of moose, and I am really afraid of bears. I have also noticed that I restrain myself from doing really (in my view) risky things. Is this a sign of me getting old? When I was younger I was not afraid of anything, or so it felt like. But now, growing up I feel more scared of trivial things.
Being scared
I am afraid of falling while climbing. When I took my lead climbing class the instructor had us climb up farther away from our last clip in, and do a free fall, just to see what it feels like. I liked it, the feeling of falling, and I even asked to do it again. But when I do climb I never let myself fall, ever. When I climb with W I say "you got me"? And I wont allow myself from falling until I hear his reply. Which basically mean that I never allow myself to actual push myself to the limit. W says that if you don't do mistakes and fall you will never improve. When we go skiing I always do an easy or slow ski down, I never let myself go too fast to loose control. I think it's healthy though to loose control. When I did that 25 mile ski race there were sections with a very gentle slope to it, but the distance of that gentle slope made you gain so much speed to the point where you could not control your skis. I remember me actually loudly saying to myself (even in english) "Oh my God, I cant control the skis, I can't slow down". After some time (who knows how short or long depending on how you see it) it took before I forced myself to sit down instead of actually doing a serious crash.
Fear
When W took me kayaking the very first time in my life, kind of, we did the delta clearwater....which basically has a stretch where you paddle upstream, yes, upstream (what a great first kayak you might think...well I thought the same). It scared me a lot! Because I got really close to the edges of the stream, and a lot of debris from tree branches. I was scared that I was going to get caught under some of those branches. I was exhausted by all the paddling, and as soon I lost energy I floated down even further than what I was before. This fear of hurting myself.
There are Bears in Denali
Back to the bear story. Last year me and W went biking in Denali. We wanted to do something like that the year before, but a rainstorm held us back that time. So last year we had a really late breakup and we didn't get to it until May, and even then there was a lot of snow on the ground. I asked a friend of mine about bear encounters and according to what I heard, he said: "it is not that likely to run into a bear on a bike", I wrote about that adventure here: Friday Theme * 3 again.. – Water, Right Now, and Green is Delightful. Basically it turned out that my friend told me that it would be surprising if you DID NOT run into a bear while biking in Denali. Go figure.